Retirement Humor:
Sizzling Senior Personal Ads!
Retirement Humor at its Literary Finest!
This is retirement humor you can shake a stick at!
Here are some 'Senior' personal ads seen in ''theVillages''
Florida newspaper:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)
FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"),
searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and
belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
and am looking for someone to round
out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation.
If you are the silent type, let's get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser
to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock,
still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nightsand still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday,
let's put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
